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If I Were Writing the 101 Course

Updated 7/29/14

This is a collection of posts, articles, and what-not that I would have liked to have come across when I first dared enter “dominance and submission” and “sadomasochism” into search boxes. Subject to addition, subtraction, very possibly long division, and radical reorganization.

Letters from Dominant Women and Submissive Men

On the Devaluation of Male Submission

What We Want

The Nature of it All

On Dominance

On Submission

On Abuse in the BDSM/Kink Scene

On Penetration

On Forced Feminization

On Humiliation

On Relationships

On Non-Monogamy/Polyamory

On Gender

10 Comments leave one →
  1. July 25, 2010 4:57 am

    This list is spectacular. I just wanted to say that.

  2. July 25, 2010 11:52 am

    Great list!

    ‘that I would have liked to have come across’ – Oh yes indeed. Me too.

    People who enter ‘dominance and submission’ and ‘sadomasochism’ into search boxes today have to do enourmous amounts of filtering. (For various factors, such as from a simple ‘doesn’t apply to me’ and ‘not my thing’, to the confused ‘fiction-as-fact’ and ‘wishful thinking’, to outright disastrous such as ‘harmful cultural assumption’ and ‘deliberate lie – and it’s obvious why they have an interest in lying’.)

    I believe everyone educating themselves needs to do a certain amount of filtering and thinking for themselves; critical examination of content and sources is how humans self-educating themselves works. But damn, it can be tiring…

    :) You’ve just saved a whole bunch of readers a good deal of sigh-and-click-away.

  3. ranat permalink*
    July 27, 2010 1:34 am

    @Maymay – Thanks! I hope to dig up more posts I’ve read that were really awesome to add, but here’s the start. Right now I’m feeling really committed to consistently getting content out there that reflects my desires, and crazy-linking to anyone else that does the same.

    @Ranai – Also thanks! As for filtering: I think filtering is particularly hard to do when one is desperate. When you’re starving, cardboard will taste good. Which is at least half the problem with the whole “fem-dom” issue as I see it. So many of us are so desperate, that as soon as we see something vaguely resembling what we need, we grab it, and refuse to let go.

    I hope I’ll save some people some time, and brain space, and maybe a little heartache. Maybe that’s too grandiose, but if I can, I’ll be quite content.

  4. July 27, 2010 1:37 am

    Not to push it too hard, Ranat, but it would be wonderful if you could help me expand the content at the Sex Positive Resources Wiki. This sort of list-building is a great start, but the next step is to condense the information itself into a comprehensible and succinct overview, preferably in a central place. That’s the goal of the that wiki, and I could use all the help I can get. As you’re already doing some of this “save other people time” work, you’d be a perfect contributor.

  5. ranat permalink*
    July 27, 2010 1:48 am

    I will certainly check it out. I’ve got a couple of major personal projects going right now, but if I feel like I can contribute in a way that works for me, I’d love to.

  6. Rubix permalink
    July 29, 2012 4:52 pm

    Seems like the first link (to Vagina-Bot in Stilettos) is broken.

  7. Rubix permalink
    July 29, 2012 5:26 pm

    Also broken:

    Queer Eye Candy (the site doesn’t seem to exist)
    Kink In Exile’s “What do dominant women want?” (change kinkinexile.com to kinkinexile.wordpress.com)
    How To Write Porn For Me (in fact, all of the links to Sara Eileen, including the explanation for password protected-ness)
    All by Bitchy Jones.

  8. experiencefirst permalink
    October 31, 2014 8:00 pm

    Hey I fixed the broken links and put it up as a page on my blog so you can easily copy it back if you so wish, for anyone still lurking your archives :)

    —-> http://stigmafreeworld.wordpress.com/ranats-101-course-on-kink/

Trackbacks

  1. The Carnival of Kinky Feminists
  2. Love Bites: Clarisse Thorn | Time Out Chicago » » BDSM 101, online and highly theoretical

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