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SPACE. The Final Frontier That We Will Never See Because of the Kessler Syndrome

August 2, 2009

Ahoy spoilers. Avoid if you haven’t seen the new Star Trek and are planning to.

So I got my dose of benevolent militaristic, fascist view of western hegemony gone too far. And it was fun. I hesitate to say good, since there was so little of substance, but it was worth paying a few bucks to see on a big screen.

I’m trying to resist the temptation to pick the movie apart, since I honestly did enjoy myself. But I am also one picky motherfucker when it comes to my Star Trek.

But, points in the movie’s favor:

  • Excellent dialogue. The overlapping arguing was really well-done, and I thought most of the actors did really good deliveries.
  • Spock beating the shit out of Jim will never get old.
  • I can totally buy the Spock-Uhura thing, because there are several episodes of the original series where you can see they have rapport. I can’t remember the episode, but there is one point where Spock is playing a harp and Uhura is singing along and it is nice. I thought the actors in the new movie pulled off the intimacy and affection very realistically.
  • That Quinto dude makes a good Vulcan. Even a very attractive one. And anyone who can make ‘Live long and prosper’ sound like ‘Fuck you’ gets mad points.
  • Karl Urban pulled off Bones more or less. The scene where he smuggles Jim on the Enterprise was hilarious.
  • Some of the space shots were very artfully done, letting you see the whole picture rather than zooming in and cutting shots a lot.
  • SHINY.

Points deducted from the movie’s favor:

  • Should not have been an action movie. Big mistake. Marketing ploys suck.
  • What a lame bad-guy. ‘You killed my woman pregnant with my child and now I seek revenge?’ Seriously? Old. Contrived. Bullshit.
  • Planetary annihilation? Use some fucking subtlety.
  • The most fleeting of casual of observations will reveal that William Shatner has brown eyes and brown hair with occasional blonde-ish highlights, and DeForest Kelley had blue eyes. I seriously think that the decision to make Jim conform to a viral Western aesthetic of blonde and blue-eyed is essentially creepy aryan racism.
  • I’m so glad that Lady Amanda and Winona Kirk got to be real people, not just desperate manikin mothers. Winona Ryder looked like she would pass out from breathing too deeply of the blistering Vulcan air, not like she had the gumption to bitch-slap her son for refusing to save his father’s life.
  • I don’t know what the hell accent Karl Urban used, but it ain’t Georgian.

Things I am ambivalent about:

  • Sarek was so… nice. Inviting his son to express emotions. This from the man who disowned his child for rejecting the Vulcan Science Academy. Then again, losing one’s planet and mate could soften up even that kind of hard-ass.
  • What about the whole Jim witnessing genocide on Tarsus IV? That was central to his character development. How are they going to work that in to the alternate universe?
  • I was really interested when I realized they were maintaining the alternate universe. The typical Star Trek trope when the time-line gets screwed up is to go and make it ‘right’ again, so horrible events x and z will not happen, or return to the ‘right’ dimension. Not so in this movie. Which is, of course, a perfect set up for more movies or a new TV show with the original characters. I do not know how I feel about this, but I will always welcome the chance to see Spock go bat-shit Pon Farr again. Yeh-heh-esssss….

All in all, I highly enjoyed myself, but I wish Abrams would have stuck to the spirit of the story, which is that Star Trek is about people, not events. Events are only a medium.

But like, Spock. Yes. Shiny.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. August 3, 2009 8:28 am

    I saw it twice, purely because of teh hot Spock. So hot. So hot. (As a sideline, have you seen that episode of Heroes where Sylar’s all semi-naked and having the flesh flayed off him by Elle? My god, Quinto’s got a body to kill for. And while we’re on the subject of Heroes, I really must get round to doing a poster boy post for Season 2 Peter with his shaved-head-and-muscles / pretty-boy-who’s-been-mysteriously-brutalised look. I built quite a fantasy around that.)

    I kink big time both for guys manfully (the use of this word would normally provoke a feminist rant from me, but here it’s part of the trope, so the sexism is kind of the point) containing their emotions and for guys being overwhelmed by their emotions; and of course the more complete their usual self-control, the sweeter the breakdown. The harder they fall, etc. Nom nom nom. When Spock was all self-contained in the elevator and Uhura was trying to comfort him, and that brief moment of letting her… this h/c stuff is honestly so halfway between Mills and Boon and teenage fanfic and bdsm that I don’t known whether to feel faintly embarrassed or defiantly proud of it, but really I ought to go for the latter, because who gives a shit if it’s cool or cliched, we shouldn’t have to be embarrassed about getting off on this stuff, that’s just that bullshit whereby any fantasy commonly indulged in by women belong to women is considered silly and girly and supposed to involve lots of screaming and fainting and obviously no actual desire to fuck anyone’s brains out at all. Screw that shit. I believe in you, tweenie fanfic writers! You express that sexuality! Let’s stand up and say, ‘Hell, yeah, this stuff doesn’t mean we’re children scared of men, it means we’re *women*, women with real sexuality, and our sexuality deserves to be taken as seriously as guys’ does!’

    Wow, went a little off topic there.

    Winona Ryder looked like she would pass out from breathing too deeply of the blistering Vulcan air…

    Ooh, this makes me cross. I wrote a long rant on another blog about this. Her and Kirk’s mum and baddie’s wife. Apparently mothers and wives still only exist to be horribly killed in order to motivate the plot. Gah. I miss the days of Ripley and Sarah Connor.

    … not like she had the gumption to bitch-slap her son for refusing to save his father’s life.

    You have my attention. Where can I see this?

    Re Uhura and the harp – it’s on YouTube, and hence is one of the few bits of the original series I’ve seen.

  2. ranat permalink*
    August 3, 2009 3:50 pm

    Yay, you are back!

    I have not seen that episode of hereos, but I am intrigued.

    “containing their emotions and for guys being overwhelmed by their emotions; and of course the more complete their usual self-control, the sweeter the breakdown. The harder they fall, etc.”

    Totally there with you. There are few things better than watching a Vulcan fall to pieces. It is possibly the only benefit of the trope of male stoicism. Watching it all crack.

    Lady Amanda’s moment of glory is in the episode Journey to Babel. Plus, she kept going strong when her child died an agonizing death and then was brought back to life with semi-memories. That woman is strong. None of this ‘I’m so frail’ bullshit.

    As for rant: Yes, our sexuality is ours, and we are as we are. Besides, my argument has always been that’s it’s not content that matters, it’s execution. ;P

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