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April 22, 2009

I learned a new knot yesterday, and am now busily thinking up kinky applications. I also saw some amazing cordage someone had made, two ply and then cabled four times, that was about the diameter of parachute cord. It was really sexy.

Still contemplating my dominance in its tag-a-long puppy mode, still not integrated into me but out of its cage, and my lonely sadism languishing in its cell. My sole desire right now is to tie someone up and torment their nipples. I don’t need anything more elaborate.

Still trying to figure out what my dominance means to me as myself, not in contrast to or relationship with a submissive person. Wondering why masturbation seems satisfying at the time, and feels so inadequate later.

Still trying to figure out if the tease is secretly serious.

Feeling really hungry sexually, like I’m eating but still starving.

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