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Laughter and Bewilderment

April 14, 2009

I just got an unexpected small package, and was speculating on what it was. One of the people who I’m maybe-possibly getting vibes from and I have been bewilderingly attracted to immediately suggested it was anal beads. In a place where people don’t joke about anal beads.

Seriously. Does anyone joke about anal beads who’s not kinky?

The other day they suggested putting chains and handcuffs on a tool we were speculating about perverting into sex furniture.

Fucking tease.

10 Comments leave one →
  1. devastatingyet permalink
    April 14, 2009 2:56 am

    I suppose “I’d like to put handcuffs on you” would have been too forward? ;-)

  2. April 14, 2009 4:39 am

    So, you know the person is kinky. Why not broach the subject with them?

  3. April 15, 2009 4:12 am

    Chains, handcuffs and anal beads… its all quite suggestive… good luck!

  4. April 15, 2009 8:19 pm

    I’m still trying to work out how to be suave about asking to get handcuffed. So far, most of the time I simply get stuck in a shy grin and say “That’d be fun.” Me flirting=lame.

  5. ranat permalink*
    April 15, 2009 9:02 pm

    @Dev – “I suppose “I’d like to put handcuffs on you” would have been too forward?”

    With the company we were in, probably. I’m still feeling my way around. And I’m getting the impression that if this person is kinky, they’ve never done anything about it, and I’m afraid of coming on too strong.

    @stacycat – “So, you know the person is kinky. Why not broach the subject with them?”

    Do I know that? *nervous* I have resolved (a resolution which may fail) to just ask the next time they say something overtly and ridiculously kinky.

    @lissy – “Chains, handcuffs and anal beads… its all quite suggestive… good luck!”

    I’ll need it not to pull my hair out.

    @maymay – “Me flirting=lame.”

    Me and flirting have never happened, so I don’t even know how to begin. When they suggested bungee cords for the perverted sex furniture I was like, “That is SUCH A GOOD IDEA.” Their eyes got slightly wider.

  6. Leah B permalink
    April 17, 2009 12:49 am

    Me and flirting have never happened either. I wonder if there’s a rulebook available? Well, even if there is, it’s probably geared towards more vanilla interactions than anything…

  7. devastatingyet permalink
    April 17, 2009 8:50 pm

    It surprises me that I do know how to flirt.

    One time on a band trip, in high school, we were in the ballroom (I guess) of the hotel at night, and I got kind of horny and reckless, and somehow managed to convey this without saying anything explicit at all, such that two of my (male) bandmates walked me down a hallway and probably would have had sex with me had I not sort of freaked out and had them let me go (which they did). That was surprising.

    Not that anyone asked my advice, exactly, but I think I flirt by (a) holding eye contact a bit longer than usual, (b) letting my eyes get a bit bigger than usual, or sparkle a bit more, and (c) making sexual-innuendo jokes. I probably also hang on people’s words a bit more when I’m interested.

    Then again, I am a gigantic dork, so I have no idea if my idea of flirting is actually any good. But it does seem to work as a way of signalling interest.

    What makes me more aware of how I flirt is how I anti-flirt. There are situations like talking to a professor I have a crush on where I consciously do NOT give signals of interest. I generally do that by slightly downplaying my interest in what they’re saying (the way you try to talk softer wearing earphones so you can talk normal rather than too loud), not making a bunch of extraneous eye contact, and keeping my tone of voice a bit neutral. Oh, and NOT making the sex jokes that come to mind.

  8. ranat permalink*
    April 19, 2009 12:22 pm

    @Leah B – I think there are rulebooks floating around. And they should not be trusted. They probably all say shit like being coy and accentuating your eyes and asking men to lift something heavy. No. So… I guess we have to make our own way as we go along. Damn it. Stupid culture.

    @Dev – I’ve got the innuendos and explicit sex jokes down. Whether or not that’s recognized as flirting, I have no idea.


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