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Several Reasons I Dig the Idea of Service

October 31, 2008

This list started out in order of priority before it devolved in slapping random enjoyable things beside a number.

1. Growing up, I did everything for the household. Everything.

I cooked half the time, I washed the dishes, I dried the dishes, I vacuumed, I swept, I mopped, I swept the driveway, I raked the yard, I weeded the garden, I weeded the yard, I walked the dogs, I cleaned up when the dogs did not wait to go outside, I washed the dogs, I picked up around the house, I washed the clothes, I folded the clothes, I painted the deck, I swept the roof, I took things down from the attic, I carried the heavy objects, I washed the car, I swept the garage, I brushed the dogs, I fed the dogs, I fed the cat, I brushed the cat, I fed the horses, I brushed the horses, I picked the horses’ feet, I combed the horses’ manes, I shoveled out the barn, I put up fence, I put out the trash, I mowed the lawn, and God forgive me I sprayed herbicide on thistles. I did what I was told, when I was told, and I did it graciously or I faced the consequences. I was fucking Cinderella in miniature.

Fuck that shit.

2. I am a slob. I litter. I clutter. I need to be picked up after. I deal with dishes immediately and food immediately, but I will leave a trail of books and clothes wherever I go. Papers breed around me.

3. Think mandom archetype. Barefoot pregnant woman in the kitchen. Reverse it. Barefoot, shirtless/naked virile man with some mark of mine of upon him in kitchen making me a goddamn sandwich. Yes.

4. I don’t want a slew of slaves each with different specialties. I want an all-purpose model. House slave. Body slave. Innocent, screaming victim. Like a Swiss Army knife.

5. I think service also includes being my ultra-portable table, ottoman, or chair while I read.

6. Makes punishment more fun. Fuck up? Beating you or verbally chastising you are two very limited options. Try doing the dishes with your hands superglued to your thighs. Oh no! How will you sweep with your big toe tied to your scrotum?

7. Gives me excuses to give rewards. Oh, the floor is simply sparkling. I will now molest you upon it.

8. Sometimes I just don’t want to get up to get a glass of water.

9. Gives me more reasons to give orders.

10. Gives me excuse to stare at slave being industriously naked.

11. More pairs of hands means more vegetables sown.

12. Human body warmer.

13. Massages. Lots of them. Of all kinds.

14. Gives me moving target to aim at.

15. Increases chances of bending slave over kitchen counter.

16. Broom handles can be insertables.

17. Broom handles are very thuddy.

18. Spatula spanking.

19. Watching slave accomplish tasks as mood-gage.

20. I simply like the idea of someone else doing work that I could do perfectly well myself, but don’t have to, because I have a slave.

21. Slapping someone across the face after they’ve done a wonderful job is just so horribly, deliciously unfair.

22. This is going to sound completely un-dominating, but doing the laundry with someone is actually a really fun way to hang out. I don’t know why. I think it has to do with task-oriented social groups.

23. When slave is sick or feeling bad and I do all the everyday tasks instead it’s such a nice contrast.

24. Earn your whipping.

25. With all the work out of the way, we can just be lazy.

26. I like to think that if I had paid for him, I either paid a lot and he was worth every gold bar, or I got an amazing bargain because no one recognized his handiness and now he is all mine.

27. I can chain slave to his post.

28. I wonder how well he can fold clothes while I’m giving him a blow job after three weeks of orgasm denial.

“They must be perfect, or else I will make you wait another week.”

29. I like it when people make me delicious food.

I could probably come up with a million more inconsequential reasons, but mainly I made the list because it seems like the Elise Sutton crowd tried to make a monopoly on service submission from men, which seems to turn a lot of people off from what could be a perfectly enjoyable thing. Even for people who are more sex-oriented in their kink, service just provides more opportunities to do something completely perverse. It’s not, “Oh, what if we did a scene where you’re in the kitchen, and then I…” it’s, “Oh, he’s in the kitchen. I think I’ll…” That dynamic depends of course of previous negotiations, time constraints, etc, etc, but to me it seems like it does offer another degree of spontaneity and/or opportunity (and ultimately I’m always imagining myself in a live-in situation which means constant access).

4 Comments leave one →
  1. October 31, 2008 12:01 pm

    Can you say more about this one:

    19. Watching slave accomplish tasks as mood-gage.

    I think I can extrapolate what you’re talking about, but I always prefer to ask instead of assume things that may or not be correct.

  2. ranat permalink
    October 31, 2008 9:42 pm

    Like, “Hmm, slave seems off, slave goes to kitchen to clean dishes, slave slams drawers, hmm, slave seems kind of angry, maybe we should talk.”

  3. November 2, 2008 11:40 pm

    Ah, okay, that’s what I thought you were talking about. That has never happened to me, however, because if I’m going to serve in a slam-the-drawer-fashion…well, heck I just wouldn’t serve at all and I’d need to talk instead.

    But, perhaps interestingly, I have always had problems with authority. I’m sure others would have a different reaction.

  4. ranat permalink
    November 3, 2008 2:02 am

    I think I might just have a separate fetish about watching people do things.

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